The Florida man in Amit Patel — the Jaguars’ worker who embezzled $22 million from the workforce — was very sturdy. You’d count on that a lot ill-gotten money can be spent on issues that the forged of The Italian Job would purchase, however that is the land of Parrot Heads, so the popular route is to go hog wild on the sportsbook, after which blow the remainder on bizarre on-line purchases.
In a court docket submitting Thursday, federal prosecutors detailed Patel’s expenditures, and it learn like a remake of Clean Examine. There was $600,000 on Apple merchandise, $47,113 for a Tiger Woods putter, $40,000 at Amazon and Finest Purchase, $140,412 on eBay, and, my private favourite, $9,477 on the Jaguars workforce store and stadium membership.
Dude, you labored for the group. I’m positive somebody might’ve hooked you up with low-cost and/or free swag. Additionally, how are you going to spend $2,200 on a game-used Trevor Lawrence jersey? Simply go all the way down to the locker room after a sport and swipe a bunch of jerseys from the laundry, or strive asking. I’m positive there are many latent felons round.
Fast notice to the Jaguars: In case your monetary supervisor is dropping hundreds of {dollars} on the workforce store like he’s on a buying spree, or displaying up on the stadium membership draped in merch, possibly examine your books. However who is aware of, maybe they thought Patel was paying off his Tesla by driving for Uber.
Patel’s lawyer, Alex King, who was retained with $275,000 of the surplus funds, mentioned his consumer has a playing dependancy and that “99 p.c of the misappropriated funds” have been used to pay again playing losses. King cited a playing dependancy as the reason for Patel’s malfeasance as if an alcoholic who plows into a gaggle of pedestrians must be given leniency as a result of substance abuse is a illness.
To be sincere, although, that is as near a victimless crime as you’re going to get. Jaguar proprietor Shahid Khan owns AEW and an EPL membership, so his coffers most likely aren’t hurting for cash. Plus, not too way back, Nick Foles acquired away with $88 million. Certain, it was a legally binding, four-year contract, nevertheless it was nonetheless a heist.
Issue within the karma of the NFL getting in mattress with sportsbooks, after which having some whack-job workforce worker bilk a franchise out of $22 million, and the entire thing is excessive comedy. Patel dropped $77,000 on the Ponte Vedra Seashore Inn & Membership, together with $25,581 on an initiation payment, after which one other $5,508 on massages and cucumber water.
The very first thing I’m doing with $22 million is shopping for property as far-off from Florida as doable. And the very last thing I’m doing, apart from frittering it away on misguided parlays, is shopping for memorabilia. What objective does a Tiger Woods putter serve? “Hey, everyone, come over to my home and take a look at my putter.”
Amit, darling, you mustn’t be afraid to dream just a little larger. However, after all, that is Florida, and when you’re inside the state strains, all bets are . . . funded by stolen cash, apparently.