Many of us carry this burden without understanding its true source. We often think that by avoiding our painful emotions, we are protecting ourselves from more harm. But what if the opposite is true? What if the very act of suppressing our emotions is what’s weighing us down?
The Illusion of Protection
We live in a society that values positivity and strength. We’re taught to keep a stiff upper lip, to push through pain, and to always present a happy face to the world. This cultural norm has led many of us to believe that acknowledging and feeling our painful emotions is a sign of weakness. So, we numb ourselves. We distract ourselves with work, hobbies, or social media. We tell ourselves that we’re fine, even when we’re not.
But this fake positivity comes at a cost. When we suppress our emotions, we don’t make them disappear. Instead, we bury them deep inside, where they fester and grow heavier over time. The more we ignore them, the more they affect us, manifesting as stress, anxiety, and a extensive sense of heaviness.
The Paradox of Awareness
Through conversations with many women, I’ve noticed an intriguing paradox: those who are deeply committed to their personal growth journey and inner work often feel more emotional heaviness than others. At first, this seemed counterintuitive. Why would those who are more self-aware and dedicated to growth experience more consequences from numbing their emotions?
Over the years, it has become clear that increased awareness and the pursuit of personal growth can sometimes lead to the unintentional suppression of emotions. As we become more aware, we also become more inclined to use tools designed to stand in positivity, such as mantras, affirmations, and techniques to raise our vibration. We’re taught to catch ourselves when we start spiraling into negativity and to shift quickly to a more positive state.
However, this constant push towards positivity can sometimes result in the suppression of our true emotions. We might use these awareness tools to bypass our negative feelings rather than fully experiencing and processing them. In contrast, those who are not as engaged in personal growth may have fewer tools to shift their emotional state. While they might be less aware, they also feel less pressure to constantly move to a positive place, which means they may end up suppressing their emotions less frequently.
This paradox highlights the importance of balancing our pursuit of positivity with the need to genuinely feel and process our emotions. True growth and emotional lightness come not from avoiding negative emotions but from embracing and understanding them.
The Hidden Weight of Suppressed Emotions
Suppressing emotions is like trying to hold a beach ball underwater. It takes a lot of effort, and eventually, it will pop back up, often with more force than before. The emotional energy we use to keep our feelings at bay is exhausting. It drains us and leaves us feeling heavy and burdened.
This emotional heaviness can seep into every aspect of our lives. It can affect our relationships, our work, and our overall sense of well-being. We might find ourselves becoming irritable, withdrawing from loved ones, or losing interest in activities that once brought us joy. The weight of suppressed emotions can even manifest physically, leading to headaches, fatigue, and other stress-related ailments.
The Counterintuitive Path to Lightness
Here’s where it gets counterintuitive: the way to feel lighter is to stop avoiding our emotions and start feeling them. This might seem scary at first. After all, we’ve been conditioned to believe that facing our pain will only make it worse. But in reality, allowing ourselves to fully experience our emotions is the key to releasing them.
When we make space for our emotions, we acknowledge their presence and give them a chance to be felt and processed. This doesn’t mean wallowing in negativity or becoming overwhelmed by our feelings. It means sitting with our emotions, understanding them, and allowing them to move through us. By doing this, we release their hold on us and free ourselves from their weight.
Understanding Our Soul’s Purpose
In Chapter 2, page 47 of my book “Becoming Soulful: Six Keys for Profound Transformation.” I write, “Our soul yearns to experience the fullness of the human condition, accepting the joys and challenges. It acknowledges that suffering and comfort, fear and bravery, despair and hope are vital to our life’s mosaic.”
Our soul’s primary purpose is to learn, grow, and expand through experiencing life to the fullest. This involves feeling all emotions without labeling them as good or bad. Many of us were taught from a young age to numb or suppress our emotions. However, our soul does not see emotions as good or bad. All emotions are part of our human experience.
Giving ourselves permission to be exactly where we are emotionally in every moment can be challenging. However, if we allow our soul to guide us and truly listen to her, we can release the constant effort of trying to always maintain a high vibration. When we focus solely on raising our vibration, we ignore the emotions that need our attention. When we fully accept whatever we are experiencing in the moment, we no longer need to apply effort to release or let go of challenging emotions. Instead, we create space for these emotions, feel them, and allow them to be. In doing so, the emotions themselves will naturally let us go when they are ready.
Emotions do not come to harm us. They come to be held. Sadness, hopelessness, anger, and frustration are all normal parts of our human experience and deserve compassion rather than being swept aside. By making space for our emotions and truly allowing them to be, we will naturally shift to a lighter state.
Embracing the Full Spectrum of Emotions
I recently underwent shoulder and arm surgery. Leading up to it, I felt anxious and worried, but I reminded myself to embrace these normal, human feelings. To my surprise, the first week after the surgery went exceptionally well, both physically and emotionally. I had tremendous support from my husband and friends, and I also felt deeply supported by Reiki. A group of Reiki masters from my community, including students and graduate friends, sent me daily Reiki before and after the surgery, making me feel held and carried by their energy. This support helped me stay emotionally stable and happy with my recovery.
After the first week, however, things changed when I had my first physical therapy appointment. I removed the sling that had been holding my arm, and the therapist began teaching my arm to move again, which caused more pain. That day, the physical pain triggered a wave of emotions. It was as if removing the sling and starting to move my arm allowed me to finally feel the pain, fatigue, and a bit of hopelessness that I had been holding back.
I became very aware of my usual tendency to stay positive and suppress pain, but I realized that true healing required me to fully experience these challenging emotions. I allowed myself to feel the sadness, frustration, and anxiety without running away from them. After giving myself this day to process all the difficult emotions, something magical happened. The next morning, I woke up feeling much lighter, as if a weight had been lifted from my heart and soul.
Avoiding Spiritual Bypassing
It’s true that trying to be positive all the time can be a form of defense mechanism, leading us to numb ourselves with positivity and not truly address the underlying issues. This is known as spiritual bypassing – using spiritual practices and positive thinking to avoid dealing with painful emotions and unresolved issues.
We often become more critical, not only because of our background but also because we feel the need to set the tone and be an example for others. However, it’s crucial to understand that we need to feel and go through our own experiences first to genuinely lead by example. True healing and growth come from embracing and processing our full spectrum of emotions, not just the pleasant ones. By allowing ourselves to feel the pain, we create space for authentic healing and a deeper connection with our true selves.
Embracing Authenticity
Embracing our emotions is an act of authenticity. It means being honest with ourselves about what we’re feeling and giving ourselves permission to feel it. This authenticity can be incredibly liberating. It allows us to connect more deeply with ourselves and others, fostering genuine relationships and a stronger sense of self.
When we stop numbing and start feeling, we begin to see emotions not as enemies to be feared but as valuable messengers. They tell us what we need, what we’re missing, and where we need to heal. By listening to these messages and addressing the root causes of our pain, we can transform our emotional landscape and find true freedom.
Conclusion
The journey to emotional lightness is not about avoiding pain but about embracing it. It’s about recognizing that our emotions, even the painful ones, are an integral part of our human experience. By allowing ourselves to feel, we can release the hidden weight of suppression and step into a lighter, more authentic version of ourselves.
If you find yourself feeling heavy, take a moment to check in with your emotions. What are you holding back? What needs to be felt and acknowledged?
The path to freedom is through feeling, not avoiding. Embrace your emotions, and you’ll find the lightness you seek.
If you feel heavy and you’re ready to allow your soul to guide you in releasing this weight and feeling lighter, consider taking the Journey into the Soul with me. You can awaken to the wisdom of your Soul and receive clear guidance from within.
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