“Celebrate what you want to see more of.” ~Tom Peters
In a world that often only celebrates grand achievements, it’s easy to overlook the small victories that pave the way to lasting change.
BJ Fogg, PhD, a Stanford behavioral scientist and author of the transformative book Tiny Habits, offers a powerful insight: If we want to get great at creating habits, we must celebrate. He insists that immediately after we do our new habit, or even approximate it, we must celebrate. This. Isn’t. Optional.
Why is celebration so crucial? That’s what wires the habit into our brain. When we celebrate, it triggers a release of dopamine. This not only feels rewarding in the moment but also reinforces the behavior on a neurochemical level, helping to embed the new habit into our neural pathways.
This concept of celebration took on a deeply personal meaning for me as I embarked on my journey toward mindful eating. As someone who had struggled with binge eating for over two decades, the idea of celebrating small victories felt both foreign and liberating.
I used to find myself in a dissociation vortex during meals, lost in my phone, mindlessly scrolling through social media. This often led to overeating, as I was disconnected from my body’s signals. Determined to change, I decided to experiment with BJ Fogg’s method of celebration.
During non-meal times, I would repeatedly practice setting my phone down in another room before entering the dining room and sitting down at the dining table. Each time I did this successfully, I threw my arms up in victory and shouted, “Yes!” This seemingly silly act was a fun and delightful way to grease the groove.
I remember the first time I genuinely celebrated this small win. It was a sunny afternoon, the curtain rustling in the gentle breeze and the sun casting playful shadows on the floor. I was feeling antsy, the dining room table looming like a trigger, a place where I would often lose myself in the abyss of my phone.
As I had done many times during practice, I purposefully set my phone down in the other room. Walking across the living room felt like crossing a chasm; each step was deliberate, like an adventurer nearing a crucial milestone. When I finally sat down at the dining room table, I could almost hear my own heartbeat.
I proceeded to eat my meal without my phone, noticing details I had previously overlooked. The crunches were crisp and satisfying, a symphony of textures in my mouth. The smells filled the air, and the warmth of the sun on my skin made the experience feel almost magical.
After I put my fork down, I stood up and shouted, “Yes!” and did an ineffable, happy dance. It was a mix of awkward flailing and spontaneous twirls—something that would make any witness question my sanity. The rush of dopamine was undeniable, and I reveled in the victory of learning that I could eat without my phone.
Yes, it was one time, but if I did it once, I knew I could do it again.
The act of celebrating these small wins started to transform my relationship with food and with myself. I began to feel a sense of accomplishment and pride each time I successfully avoided a binge by eating with awareness. The eating itself became a mini-meditation, and the celebration was a moment to acknowledge my progress and reinforce my commitment to mindful eating.
Here are some practical tips and insights to help you incorporate celebration into your habit-building journey:
1. Make it Personal
Choose a celebration that resonates with you personally—something that genuinely makes you feel happy and successful. The more authentic the celebration, the stronger the positive emotional impact and the more robust the habit formation. Whether it’s a fist pump, a happy dance (I like to twerk), or a simple smile, make it something that feels right for you.
2. Consistency is Key
Celebrate every time you practice your new habit, especially in the beginning. This helps reinforce the behavior and makes it more likely to stick. Consistency is crucial in the early stages of habit formation.
3. Small Wins Matter
Don’t wait for big achievements to celebrate. Recognize and celebrate the small wins along the way. These small moments of victory build momentum and keep you motivated.
4. Be Playful
Approach celebration with a sense of playfulness and joy. The more fun you have with it, the more enjoyable the habit-building process will be. Let yourself be silly and embrace the positive emotions that come with celebration.
One of the funniest moments in my journey came when my boyfriend witnessed one of my celebratory rituals for the first time. I had just finished a meal with him. Because it was without my phone, I stood up, threw my arms up in victory, and shouted, “Yes!” with the enthusiasm of a game show winner.
He looked at me, bewildered, his eyebrows nearly disappearing into his hairline. “What are you doing?” he asked, his voice a mix of confusion and amusement. I could see him trying to decide if he should be concerned or join in the celebration.
As I explained the concept to him, his bewilderment turned into a wide grin. We both burst out laughing, the sound filling the room like music. Then, in a moment of pure spontaneity, he joined in, matching my awkward flailing with his own equally ridiculous moves.
It was a moment of shared joy and understanding, and it made the habit-forming process even more enjoyable.
As time went on, these small celebrations began to have a profound impact on my life. Not only did I become more mindful of my eating habits, but I also started to celebrate other small wins throughout my day. I found myself more engaged and present in my daily activities, and my overall sense of well-being improved.
The power of celebration lies in its ability to create positive emotional experiences that reinforce new behaviors. When we celebrate our small wins, we acknowledge our efforts and progress, no matter how minor they may seem. This recognition helps to build self-confidence and resilience, making it easier to tackle bigger challenges.
BJ Fogg’s insight is simple yet transformative: You change best by feeling good, not by feeling bad. By celebrating every win, we create a positive feedback loop that encourages continued growth and development.
So, whether you’re working on mindful eating, like I was, or any other habit, remember to celebrate your wins. Throw your arms up in victory, do a happy dance, or simply smile and say, “Yes!” Let’s embrace the joy of progress and let celebration be the catalyst for lasting change in our lives.
About Kristina Dobyns
Kristina is a PhD student in somatic psychology and has her masters in exercise science. She helps women overcome binge eating at BeyondBingeEating.com. She teaches mindful eating at MindfulEatingSupport.com. And she showcases her art at SoyMapache.com. She is a multiple time fitness champion. When she is not busy as a stylist specializing in poodle mullets, she enjoys reading leather-bound books and lounging in her apartment, which smells of rich mahogany.